My Abusive Relationship with Smartwatches

I was browsing through Facebook Marketplace when I came across a curious listing: Samsung Gear S2 — only $50. Wow, I said. Impulsively, I shot the seller a message: “Is this still available?”

This despite the fact that I’ve had 3 smartwatches, none of which lasted.

My first smartwatch was also a Gear S2. I remembered being obsessive about that spinning bezel thing. It is just so much fun to play with that I couldn’t stop fiddling with it. Not that the watch serves any particular utility to me: I had an iPhone. To run the Gear, I had to jump through 7 different technical hoops. (It felt like I was being instructed by Samsung to hack their rival) I got notification and news fetching to work, but I couldn’t reply to text messages or send emails. When the novelty of the bezel ran out, I got rid of it.

2 years later, in my still iPhone era, I finally gave in to the kale-eating, Netflix-watching, avocado toast-loving millennial that I am and bought an Apple Watch. This was a huge decision for me: I had wanted one forever. The final push that justified the multi-hundred dollar price tag was my resolution to become healthy. The Watch, I thought, would be the wings that will lift me out of the purgatory of junk food and couch time and bring me to exercise heaven. Upon opening the elegant and stylish box, I immediately spent 3 hours configuring every exercise options in the Watch to fit with my current cardio-centric workout. It was amazing… for 2 weeks. All New Years Resolution fails. After the novelty of the Watch ran out, I scrapped it.

As I grow older, I became more conscious about my finance. I tried to restraint my spending and stop wasting moneys on dumb things. I traded my iPhone for a more frugal Pixel. I eat out less. And finally, I got a Pebble. For anyone not familiar, a Pebble is ultra-cheap (I got it in the $15 range) and highly utilitarian smartwatch. Its body is literally made of plastic, its screen is a low-light e-ink screen a la Kindle, and its battery revoke the memory of old Nokia brick phones. The Pebble represented the new me: frugal, simple, and focused. However, it does not bring any actual value to the table: I found myself using it less and less, and I was spending more and more effort to maintain it. This watch ended the same way as the other two: given away to a family friend.

Now that I’m reflecting on the death of my many smartwatches, I had come to a deadening realization: smartwatch had never been about utility. I let myself be fooled by the marketing: the idea that smartwatch will magicalize my life with technology. It would supercharge my speed of information, the ad says. Yet, if I take a rational look at it, that premise is silly: smartwatch will never be useful when you can do the same thing 10 times better on your phone. Smartwatch is, in reality, a status symbol. It is a way for me to signal what I’m doing, who I am, what tribes I belong to, how much income is at my disposal, and how I’m using it. It is fundamentally irrational, yet I’m treating it like it’s a calculated purchase.

I can see that unsettling rationalization in action right now: my brain is telling me that this S2 is different. You have an Android now, it says. That bezel is such a cool technology, it says , but I have come to realize smartwatches to be what they are, and I will not fall for that trap again.

The seller shot back a clear yes. I told him I’d changed my mind.

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